Thursday, December 07, 2006

This patient is brain dead

This is the lamest use of space in a newspaper ever. Ever. It's the search for "hot" doctors in Cincinnati. (The Enquirer can't even post the story right. In the paper this morning, there were two doctors on the front of the Life section and three more on the back page. The web version has five pictures but only talks about two of them.)

Newspapers like to do fun stories, but what does the Enquirer want you to think when you see the picture of hot doc Lana Hawayek? "Boy, what does she look like naked? Hey, open up that lab coat and let me see what's there." The Enquirer is too poor to give its employees a Christmas gift, and so poor it has to ask them to take unpaid vacation. But it has no problem wasting a reporter's time on this drivel.

Also, the story doesn't have one of those "Speak Up!" buttons on it. The Enquirer has begun putting these buttons on stories like this one today about copper thiefs, to get readers to talk about the stories. Seriously, what would you rather talk about: copper or T&A? Not copper, because the last time I looked that story didn't have any comments.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Never forget "the vision" as pasted from the Enquirer vision statement on the web:

The Enquirer, a multimedia provider
of local news and information, is an accessible, informative and reliable connection to communities in Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky.

We anticipate and fulfill the diverse needs and interests of customers by creating and delivering trusted, useful and valued products and services.

Uh-huh. The Enquirer might just take volunteers to replace employees to do just that.

9:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It took all of one day for the Enquirer to outdo itself in the worst-story ever category. Today's Cheetah Girls proves that the paper has officially dropped its pursuit of adult readers and is zeroing in on the 6-9 audience. But, omigod, didn't they know we wanted to chat about them?

7:37 AM  
Anonymous Every Cincinnatian said...

Lighten up NewsAche. Finally, the Enquirer prints an informative article we can appreciate and use.

We just scheduled separate hernia checks at Dr. Hawayek's office and Dr. Brenner's office. Afterward, if we determine the Enquirer's photos are accurate and undoctored (pun intended), we plan follow up visits for prostate exams. Yippee!!!

The best part is my health insurance co-payment, which is below the price I would have to pay on the street for these "services".

1:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is there any alternative to the Enquirer for local news with any depth? While it is pathetic, every once in a while there is an individual gem. I don't seem to find that with the local TV stations, the Post or any related websites. Is there something else in a one stop shop? Or, is there a link list posted somewhere?

And anyone ever wonder why if the Enquirer is after teeny piecemeal stories, breaking news is almost always there last? Seems that even when breaking news of any substance is posted to that the facts and grammar come off worse that a nickel haircut.

Suggestions please!

5:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is I needed to know:

Grown-ups who go to Cincinnati Bell's Web site,, can schedule a time for Santa to call with a personalized, recorded message. They'll be asked to choose the date and time for the call to be placed, one of four holiday messages and a name from lists of 100 girls' names and 100 boys' names.

The calls are free, and a maximum of two calls can be made to any home or mobile phone number with a 513, 859, 937 or 812 area code. Calls can be placed until 9 p.m. Dec. 24. Cincinnati Bell service is not required, but calls made to Cincinnati Bell Caller ID subscribers will see "CB North Pole" on the display.

More than 60,000 calls have been scheduled so far and than more than 1,000 have been booked for Christmas Eve, Cincinnati Bell's Jill Cobb says. Santa's making the most calls to boys named Michael, James and David and to girls named Jennifer, Emily and Lauren, Cobb says.

War casulities mean nothing in comparison...

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the person who wants a 'cheap'hernia and prostate exam, one thing, dermatologists and gynecologists are not the type of doctors you need. There is a much cheaper way.
To anyone else who made fun of the 'hot doc' article, try being a doctor yourself, and better yet, a HOT ONE! It was for me, a very inspirational article.
A more civilized response would have been expected.

6:29 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home